So, despite the fact that I haven't been posting, I have still been reading! I'm not following a plan right now, just reading where I am lead. Which is how I ended up reading the entire book of Haggai. It sounds impressive, but the whole book is only two chapters.
There was actually a lot to get out of this tiny book, but what jumped out at me was verse 4: "But now be strong, Zerubbabel,' declares the Lord. 'Be strong, Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,' declares the Lord, 'and work. For I am with you,' declares the Lord Almighty."
God's people were supposed to be rebuilding his temple, and they were being comforted that He was with them during a time of intense, hard work.
Sidenote: this is how you know I am a mother of a toddler. Any time I read the Old Testament, or hear a passage during church, my mind immediately turns the people into vegetables. Joshua leading the people around Jericho? Larry the Cucumber. Jonah and the big fish? Archibald the Asparagus. The Israelites marching through the desert? Peas, cucumbers, carrots, grapes, squash....all hopping along in appropriate Bible costumes. Yes, this is what my brain does during sermons. Perfectly normal, right?
Anyway, I love my job. I've now been there about nine months. And though it probably has more to do with my new blood, I am finally feeling like I have the hang of how things work, and am trying to get out of my normal antisocial bubble. All of this is to say, after I read Haggai, I remembered that work is always easier when I remember the Lord is with me. This goes for fun work, but also the stuff I really hate to do, like personal work - paying bills, cleaning the house, disciplining Ophelia.
It is so, so easy to get frustrated and feel completely weak and helpless, whether I am at my job doing something new for the first time, or at home dealing with a temperamental three year old. But remembering that the Lord is with me acts as a balm to my spirit. At work, I have a little set of bible verses on my desk that I can quickly glance at throughout the day to help me bring my focus back. I actually find it easier to "be strong" at work sometimes...I have my own office, I am on my own time schedule, I can take a five minute break to rest and focus on God's Word. At home, I am at the mercy of the almost three year old's schedule, and I struggle mightily sometimes with taking that much needed break to refocus. It is actually quite hard to remember that God is there when you find yourself trying to make dinner, ignore the mess, and give full focus to family.
However, I will honestly say that in the last two months, since the "new blood," my mind has been more focused. I have gotten frustrated much less often, I am able to handle what would have previously been extremely stressful situations, and I feel like I am able to give much more focused attention to all areas of my life...work, family, and fun. That energy has extended to reading the Bible and refocusing on my relationship with God, which has in turn helped me to be strong and know that God is with me, in everything.
It's easy for other people to say, just read the Bible! It can be just plain difficult to find the time - to make the time - to read. Yes, I admit, I often have time to watch television, yet I can't seem to find the time to read even a verse. I think it has been those times in my life - the times when I spend all my free time watching television - that I can feel the frustration and weakness growing day by day, minute by minute. But starting with the one verse during the day makes a noticeable difference in my frame of mind, and that has everything to do with remembering that I am not strong - God is strong for me.
